Stand By Her » Surgery

Out of time

Stand By Her — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:58:23 +0000

Time seems to take on a different dimension when your loved one is going through treatment. It seems, at times, that you are having an out of body experience as you wait with her before a doctor’s appointment, or while she’s getting chemo, or when she’s getting a radiation treatment. You look over at the magazine rack, but there’s nothing for you to read. And you don’t know what to do, some times. Just take a deep breath, and know you are doing the best thing of all – you’re there with her. And that’s good enough.

Getting Ready for Battle

Stand By Her — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 13:34:32 +0000

If your loved one has been diagnosed with breast cancer, she will almost always be treated surgically, first with an initial biopsy and then later with a lumpectomy, mastectomy, or bilateral mastectomy. Additional surgery may be done on her lymph nodes.

A mastectomy is usually followed with reconstructive surgery by a plastic surgeon, right after the breast surgeon has completed his or her work in the same operating room. Emotional scars often follow the physical scars created by breast surgery.

In one of the earliest research studies on the psychological impact of breast cancer surgery on women, cited by Dr. Barron Lerner in his book Breast Cancer Wars, Richard Renneker, a psychiatrist, and Max Cutler, a breast surgeon, concluded that a woman’s breast is ‘‘the emotional symbol of a woman’s pride in her sexuality and her motherhood,’’ so that a removal of her breast attacked the ‘‘very core’’ of her ‘‘feminine orientation.’’ Breast cancer surgery is an invasion of a woman’s natural body. It’s every woman’s nightmare.

The Day of Battle: Healing with Steel

Stand By Her — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 17:06:49 +0000

This is the time for her to put on her game face. She needs to get into her warrior mode. She isn’t going to lose to this cancer; she is going to whip it. She needs to ‘‘zone in’’ and get ready for her quest to conquer cancer. You need to put my game face on, too, as her biggest fan and supporter.

Get her to the hospital on time. There is a lot of medical preparation that happens right before surgery, so don’t be late. There is also emotional preparation. For your loved one, that emotional prep is accepting that she is facing, head-on, a radical change in her life. As she’s putting on her surgical gown, she may become overwhelmed with sadness that she is about to lose a part of herself. ‘‘

Make Sure Her Insurance is in Place Before Surgery

Stand By Her — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 17:00:47 +0000

After the surgical team and hospital are secured, the mundane—yet crucial—pieces of the process need to come together, and this includes insurance preauthorization. That’s right. She must be darn sure that the doctors and hospital (never assume the doctors and hospital are together) she has selected are approved for coverage (or in the network) under her health plan. Usually the doctor’s office staff are well versed in this and equipped to get the paperwork together for the insurance company. The burden to do so, however, is not on them, but on her, so make sure she fills out all the forms needed to get the operation into the insurer’s system. Failure to do so could result in delay, or even cancellation, of the surgery. Or, the surgery could go forward, and the insurance company might then refuse to pay the bills because the medical procedures were not authorized. The latter, indeed, could prove to be a financial disaster. More people go bankrupt owing to an inability to pay medical bills than for any other reason, including mortgage foreclosures, car loans, and credit card debt.