Funny stories with sis

[John]

My brother in law, David is one funny guy. By day, he's a Cracker Barrel manager, but dang it, by night he should do stand-up. Here's something he did for my wife Sharon that she laughs about to this day. One time he was visiting, and he like to talk to her through the air vents. He has this James Earl Jones imitation voice that he does. Here's one thing he said to her, right before surgery:

‘‘Sharon, this is God speaking.
Make sure that you do not become a porn star after your operation
by ordering breasts larger than your head.’’

Please share some of your funny stories here.